Thawing Ice
by TheGlobalFlower
Summary: Natsume's heart was closed, as cold as ice. And he liked it that way, he couldn't afford to have emotions. But when a certain girl starts to change that, he realises too late to stop or fix the damage, and that's something he actually welcomes.
1. Natsume

Natsume had always been frozen; he could remember no other feeling in his heart.

He did recall the many times he had laughed when his mother was alive, before the accident, before the academy, before everything; but he couldn't recall the sensation.

They say happiness is not something you experience, but something you remember, but then, he could do neither.

At least, until she came.

Now he wasn't so sure.

He would actually feeling like smiling, but would hold himself back, though only because the sensation was so alien to him. Almost as if he didn't know how anymore.

He had always watched her from his tree, even when she wasn't there to share it with him.

He remembered how she had helped Youichi get to his room, back when they were still complete strangers. She'd helped him lovingly even though he was extremely rude to her.

He remembered how she'd clumsily tripped and fallen over a downed branch, hurting herself badly. He remembered the way that it had irked him, and got him all worked up, though he still wasn't quite sure why.

He remembered watching her dance with Hotaru at the Christmas party, from the very same tree. He remembered how often she had laughed, and how warm he had felt inside. That had been the first time he had thought to call the emotion 'happiness'. A realization, that had only made him feel more confused than ever, though it felt so right, as if it was the way things were meant to be.

Then he remembered the time a high school student had made inappropriate advances on Mikan. He had felt the need to burn the person to a crisp, and would have done so if Tubasa had not interfered in time. As much as he hated to admit it, he did owe him for that. Natsume had been in a murderous mood long after that. He put it down to his over protectiveness and his tendencies to be territorial about his friends, but deep down he knew that there was a lot more to it than he what he saw, than what he let himself see.

He sat now, watching her. She was reading diligently.

Hotaru had given her a book to read the day before, a rare thing that she didn't charge for. Mikan seemed to have taken a liking to it, she had finished over half the eight hundred page book in little over a day.

He watched how the fading light played over her skin and hair, admiring her complexion from his place in the branch above her, while she sat reading in the grass. She was beautiful, and for the first time he didn't contradict himself after thinking it.

Her pace slowed the next few days as lessons started again. She didn't stop though; she would find time to read for at least half an hour each day if not more.

Natsume always watched, her without exception, and she, without exception would read outside, always under _his_ sakura tree.

Their tree.

He loved to watch her face. When she read, it was calm and peaceful, excepting the small giggles and gasps she let out, always completely absorbed.

He loved watching the way the light would play over her face, filtering through the trees some days, when she read in the afternoon, highlighting and emphasizing every part of her perfect face in turn.

He would watch the light slowly illuminate her face in the morning making her look like a fallen angel returning to God's grace.

And approaching dusk, he would watch as she read in the faint light, the different colours of the sky reflected themselves on her face, he noticed how the deep pinks and reds would become a shell pink on her face, a few shades deeper than her peach complexion; how the blue would be much softer, and the purple less red.

He had watched her grow up, he watched as she developed a full-fledged interest in reading; he had watched her body and mind grow and change, but she was still the same to him. He had always watch her, he would always watch her. He somehow had to, even if he couldn't or wouldn't understand the reasons for his compulsion, he couldn't stop watching her, but not as a stalker would; rather as her protector, and she never saw him either.

He stood under the tree and watched her as she ran up to him calling out to him. He let her take his hand and drag him to the bus to central town. On the way back he watched her sleeping form, knowing she was exhausted, but happy.

He realized slowly that she had completely warmed his heart. She had left it as it was, strong and unrelenting, but without the cold and emptiness that had filled it before, filling it with...

Her.

His heart was still strong, far stronger than any metal could be, but it was no longer lonely. And so, much stronger than it had been when it was empty. Now he had a substance, something more personal to fight for, much more than protecting close friends and strangers he would never meet.

It had become all about _her _now. And that was a good thing.

She had filled a place deep within him, a place that he hadn't realized needed filling in the first place.

She had made a hairline crack in his armoured heart, slipped in through it without him even realizing it, without harming him or his armour.

And he was glad that he hadn't realized, because then he would have tried to stop it.

He knew that there was no stopping it, now, that Mikan would have gotten to him anyway, even if he had noticed, but he was glad it had happened it way it had.

It felt comforting, now that he knew.

He had someone he loved.

Someone he would do anything for.

Someone to live and die for.

And that he was no longer completely alone.

He would make polka fall for him, that shouldn't be too difficult, if she hadn't fallen hard already.

He smirked down at her. He knew he was being arrogant but he had every right to be. He knew that Mikan was anything but predictable, completely the opposite, but he too had his inert charm, focused solely on her.

He watched the scenery outside the window, as the sun passed by. Suddenly he was looking at everything from a different perspective. His realization had changed his very aspect of life...

The world was no almost alien to him but he knew that even though the very last, smallest corner of his heart was thawed, but one part of it would always, without exception be frozen. There was no healing that.

The eyes of his heart would always be frozen.

Forever frozen on her, watching Mikan. Not even when he faced death himself would he turn his eyes away, he would never stop watching Mikan.

Nothing could change that.

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><p>Please don't say I plagiarized this. I know there is one in fairy tail like this, nearly the same in Lucy's P.O.V, but I wrote it too. And of the same idea is somewhere else too, then I really can't help that... Any way this is something I really wanted to write.<p>

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><p>Edited:<p>

01. 12. 12

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><p>I can't believe I wrote this an entire two years ago, but it seems like yesterday.<p>

Despite that a LOT as happened, which is obvious of course, but it was wonderful to come back to this little one shot. I never was good with them, and I'm still not, so this to me is a very important piece.

Either way, after a hellish two years I've finished my finals and will be starting sixth form, I'm under no illusions that I'll have more time, but I'll be more organized, and I plan to revamp all my fic (published and unpublished), so please do check out my other Gakuen Alice fic!

Edited:

13. 07. 14


	2. Mikan

Mikan wasn't naturally such a happy person; at least she didn't think so.

In the middle it _did _get to be so natural, like it really was part of her character. Habit. After all she was always, always smiling... Now she wasn't so sure about it anymore.

When her mother left her, she didn't realise it, she just sat there, as what she imagined was one of the hardest decisions of her mother's life came into fruition. She hadn't really understood, then, she didn't really remember it, she just brought the scene to life in her mind from what she had been told, and the sadness that she definitely did remember.

She had no clear memory, of no fixed time or period, she simply remembered a time of suffocating despair. She doubted that she even knew what sadness was, not like she knew it now. All she knew that she didn't like it. And for some odd reason, she smiled.

She wanted to stop it, to push it away, to make room for the happiness that was _supposed _to be there. And after that, well it was always like that. People said that she had a beautiful smile, but

At first she forced herself to be happy for her Ji-san to make sure he was always smiling, and it became her remedy as she faced the taunts at school about her parents, or lack of them. Then she used it to make sure she wasn't the reason her best friend was upset. She didn't want to hold back her best friend, so she made sure she always had a happy face, and the same face when she left.

At that point it had become a way of coping with things, and then the time she couldn't take it anymore, so she found her way to the academy. There everything seemed okay, she was hurting, it was just _so difficult_ to fit in. Natsume and his gang only made it harder. Especially since it seemed Hotaru hadn't in fact needed or wanted her at all. For the first time in years she started to think that maybe it just wasn't worth wearing her heart on her sleeve and that she really should give up smiling all the time.

She watched Natsume, especially; for some reason she was inexplicably drawn to him. He thought he hid it so well. All his pain shoved under the mask of his cold unfeeling facade. It made Mikan feel less like giving up, seeing Natsume be so strong every day.

She pranced up to him, as usual, like a naive, innocent child; a trait unbeknownst to her was what made her so appealing to him; something that he wanted to preserve or protect.

She asked once again in her cheerful tone, inviting him to come with her to central town.

"Go away little girl." Natsume sighed back as usual, but she could tell that he was glad she had asked. It might be easier to be alone, but it was always nice to know someone cared.

She would continue to smile she decided; continue her innocent facade to match his unfeeling one—even if he didn't want her to. She would smile, if only just for him. They would save each other.

Just something I thought I'd do to accompany the first one for those who liked it... Please do leave a review if you have time or just favourite... Thanks for Reading!


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